Last evening I was having a spliff with my friend Pinocchio.
I’m not comfortable with this, since smoking for a wooden puppet is not always
safe and wise, but what can you do? We were seated just outside our local, the
only pub open on the dark side of the moon. You know, it’s a quite deep
provincial place: nothing happens and you resort to hallucinate yourself to feel of
being alive. A bit like everybody in every other shit hole everywhere else…
So finally we decided to do something and with a bit of
arrogance, lack of alternatives and high dosage of psychotropic substance in
our blood, we made a move to the swankiest club on the moon: the ENBELAUSOCLU or the Enlightened Being Labour
Union Social Club. They meet only after work, but since they are enlightened
beings, well, it runs non-stop. And with that I mean, eternally.
So Pinocchio and I stepped in and…well with our great
surprise at the moment, but not very much with hindsight if you consider the
exact character of the patrons, they welcomed us wholeheartedly, genuinely and
without a hitch whatsoever. Immediately we have been introduced to all the guys
and would you image what is the most common greeting among enlightened beings?
Exactly! “Hi bro”.
But again, you should expect they are pretty cool. Pinocchio
and I,feeling more and more confident, decided to hit the bar, almost
unconsciously. And guess what? There was one! And a magnificent type I must
say. A bit like the Graal in Indiana Jones, it is not a posh, Dubaiesque,
super-fashion kind of parlour, but a frank, efficient saloon. Why so good? It
has everything! Seriously: Ardberg, Beluga, Morellino but also Arnais, Lison, Exmoor Beast, or
even Priorat.
Why magnificent?
Open bar.
Yes my friend, I had almost to console
Pinocchio: he was in tears, sobbing like a child, which is funny because all
its joints were clinking like maracas.
Anyway, we were sipping a Chianti in our
pint glasses, when we finally started to look at the amazing frequenters of the
place.
There was literally everybody: at least a couple of dozen of
Buddhas, Bayazid in great shape, JC, a couple of very pale Celtic virgins, a
handful of shamans, several totemic ancestors, two VERY old guys, Wittgenstein
(probably the most unease one in the place: not a smile), Madiba, Quetzalcoatl. I was staring at all these wonderful souls in a
state of admiration and confusion, when suddenly I spotted Granpa. MY Granpa,
walking arm in arm with the Fairy with the Turquoise hair. Don’t take me wrong,
my grandfather was a nice man, a generous, solid elementary teacher. But his
biggest accomplishment towards universal harmony was to have deserted the army
during the war. Twice, the same war.
I shouted with a piercing voice “Granny, wa'dayuidduing
here?”. I fainted, probably because of the strong emotion and also for the firm slap from one of the druids (with a fish).
Bad vibes are fairly matched in the ENBELAUSOCLU.
Patronizing with ancestors, fault.
When finally I could start a
conversation, Guanyin was sweaping my forehead with a wet towel, and obviously
my first uttered expression was: “Thank you”.
If only I could remember to start
that way always!
Damn!
But not always the Goddess of Mercy is refreshing your
deranged head. Fair point. Anyway: back to the story.
First: start with “turning off the light” with my ear.
Basically twisting my auricular devices till crying. Then he commenced to share
wisdom with amiability. Remembering that enlightenment is mainly a low profile: if
you are too focused in stating that you are enlightened, good chances you are
not. No reason why your old ones shouldn't be enlisted.
Second: enlightenment
is not about super powers, your neighbor with lawnmower could be one. Just not
likely.
Third: have you smoked again with Pinocchio? I told you it’s not good,
especially for him, since it’s a wooden puppet.
Fourth: we are all living
beings and enlightenment is first and foremost being aware of being a being. We started
many years ago (many) with some protein chains.
They weren't aware.
Long story
short: some “things” of matter started to be aware of their own presence. AKA:
first mindfulnessed ancestors (thank you totemic uncles). Enlightenment is a
cherry on consciousness. So all your lineage till the first ancestors, are
actually telling you something about the light of being. Don’t be surprised
then to see relatives in this cognitive heaven.
At this point me and Granpa went on different paths.
Literally. I wasn't convinced and he took the Fairy with Turquoise hair
somewhere.
I had to talk to Pinocchio quickly. But where was he gone?
Desperation, abandon, loneliness.
Many questions, few twists and irremediably
here’s the bar.
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